Cynthia’s Yearlong 50th Birthday Bash–November Update
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Posted on November 27, 2014 by

J0341653As I described back in April (you can read the post here), I’m celebrating my 50th birthday with a year of activities, challenges, and FUN designed to honor this milestone. I’m calling it Cynthia’s Yearlong 50th Birthday Bash, and so far it’s been an incredible experience.

Here’s what I did in November to celebrate:

▪ Launch—November is National Novel Writing Month (aka NaNoWriMo). While I respect any writer who tackles this challenge, there is no way I could write a book that fast. Based on my memoir-in-progress, even a decade isn’t enough time. But in honor of NaNoWriMo, I launched my second big push to complete the third draft. My goal is to edit the first 100 pages and rewrite the second 100 pages. By the end of the year I should have 200 pages (or roughly two-thirds of a book). So far it’s going pretty well, but ask me again at the end of the year.

▪ Submission—This month I submitted to Sycamore Review for the Wabash Prize in Poetry and Nonfiction as well as to an anthology dealing with life during and beyond sadness.

▪ New Things—1) Danish kringle—delicious! If you can find one at Trader Joe’s, buy it. 2) A drink called The Honey Bee. Strong but yummy. 3) Visiting the Firehouse Arts Center in Pleasanton for the first time to see an incredible mosaic exhibit in the Harrington Gallery. 4) Made vegan macaroni and cheese using cauliflower, and yes, it tasted surprisingly like the real thing. My daughter Katie gobbled it up and asked for more.

▪ Challenge—I took Katie to the Bankhead Theater to see LUMA: Theater of Light. I knew this would be a challenge for her (and therefore me) but my instincts told me she would love an event that told stories with lights and music rather than words. The Bankhead was packed and Katie was fighting off a cold, but we successfully attended the show. Yes, she got over-stimulated by all the moving lights, but we still managed to have ice cream sandwiches at CREAM before we visited the park for a vigorous post-show swing. All in all, the evening was a huge success.

▪ Fun—This month I carved pumpkins with Katie and Nate, the new man in my life, then the next day we all trick or treated. At long last Katie understands the process, so this year it felt like fun rather than work. We had a “star party” to view the night sky and full moon with Nate’s telescope. Katie and I went shoe shopping at the mall for some girl fun. We also spent a four-day weekend up at Sea Ranch for some much needed pre-holiday relaxation, and today we start a three-day Thanksgiving extravaganza with family, more family, and friends.

What new activities and challenges did you tackle this month? Leave a comment below and have a wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving weekend.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

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Sculpting Waves in Wood and Time
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Posted on November 25, 2014 by

988669_10152882434160652_1893030052_nWelcome to another Tuesday with TED. Today we have kinetic sculptor Reuben Margolin, whose moving sculptures combine the logic of math with the sensuousness of nature.

Margolin makes wave-like sculptures that undulate, spiral, bob and dip in gloriously natural-seeming ways, driven by arrays of cogs and gears. As a kid, Margolin was into math and physics; at college, he switched to liberal arts and ended up studying painting in Italy and Russia. Inspired by the movement of a little green caterpillar, he began trying to capture movements of nature in sculptural form.

Now, at his studio in Emeryville, California, he makes large-scale undulating installations of wood and recycled objects. He also makes pedal-powered rickshaws and has collaborated on several large-scale pedal-powered vehicles.

Take a few minutes to watch this short, but mesmerizing TED Talk. Margolin’s work is inspiring and beautiful.

Did you like Margolin’s sculptures? How did you respond to his idea of the contrast between the need to look deeper versus the world’s immediacy?

I tend to view the world as a series of circles; Margolin sees it as a series of waves. How might you use either of these concepts in your creative pursuits? Leave a comment below.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

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Sneaking Candy
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Posted on November 20, 2014 by

c410038d3283f1fcf3d130e8d60fI don’t know if this is something I should admit, but my daughter Katie is getting sneaky. Because she has autism and I don’t have any typically functioning children, I’m often unsure if Katie’s behavior is due to her diagnosis or simply a normal stage of development. This is one of those times.

While Katie was at outdoor education camp last month she learned some interesting things that have nothing to do with the environment. She now says, “Oh, man” and “Are you kidding me?” as well as “That’s mine.”

She has numerous creative ways for spitting out food she doesn’t want to eat. She shuts the door in my face when she takes a bath and says, “I need privacy, Mom.”

Katie makes her own snacks and reheats leftovers in the microwave when she’s hungry. (Admittedly, this had started before camp but now she insists on doing it all herself.) After years of learning to hold my hand palm to palm (instead of offering her closed fist as a sensory defensive tactic), she now refuses to hold my hand in public. I never quite understood why other parents felt sad when their children reached important milestones, but suddenly I am hit with a tidal wave of mixed emotions. My baby is at long last growing up.

I’m not sure if the sneakiness is due to Katie’s camp experience, the result of these other changes, or simply something that was already lurking on the horizon. Whatever the case, Katie is now doing things she knows she shouldn’t when I’m either not around or preoccupied. She convinces the babysitter to make her a strawberry smoothie using all the strawberries in the tropical fruit blend. She rips open the Halloween candy and snatches a few pieces when I’m on the phone. She serves herself ice cream for breakfast when I’m sleeping in on Sunday morning. She covers her tracks fairly well, but given that she’s a child on the spectrum with little experience (or concept) of lying, she never hides the candy wrappers so I always figure it out. And if I don’t she usually tattles on herself after the fact, which is pretty freaking hilarious.

I tell a friend about what Katie is doing and she laughs and tells me about things she snuck as a child. I can’t come up with anything except the time my brother climbed above the fridge when my parents were sleeping and ate all the fluoride pills, thinking they were candy, and had to have his stomach pumped—an unpleasant experience that left a lasting impression on me, if not him.

wood heartThe truth is I didn’t sneak much, if anything, because I avoided anything that had the potential to make my mother mad. Unlike Mom, I tend to laugh when Katie sneaks things, and this is probably why she does it. I’m not sure if it’s because of the autism or simply the way I parent, but I don’t want Katie to fear me. I’ve spent so much time correcting her maladaptive behaviors over the years that I don’t relish the thought of punishment, certainly not for anything as minor as swiping a few pieces of candy. I love her fierce independence, her nonconformist streak. I don’t want her to grow up with a long list of “shoulds.” Instead I want her to follow her heart, to go where her passions lead. Just like I did when I adopted her.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

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Why a Good Book Is a Secret Door
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Posted on November 18, 2014 by

988669_10152882434160652_1893030052_nWelcome to another Tuesday with TED. Today we have bestselling author Mac Barnett, who is the author of fifteen books for children. He was the executive director of 826LA, a fabulous nonprofit writing center, and founder of The Echo Park Time Travel Mart, a convenience store for time travelers. (Watch the talk, it will make perfect sense.)

In this whimsical talk about creativity and wonder, Barnett explains why kids are the ideal readers of literary fiction — and what adults can learn from them about imagination and the willing suspension of disbelief. Barnett speaks about writing that escapes the page, art as a doorway to wonder — and what real kids say to a fictional whale. It’s a delight. Enjoy!

Barnett states: “Childhood is surreal. Why shouldn’t children’s books be?” Do you agree? How might you better use imagination, wonder, and whimsy to enhance your creative endeavors? Leave a comment below.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

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What I Learned From Building a Foundation For Fitness, Part 2
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Posted on November 13, 2014 by

Yoga MatLast year, in the spring of 2013, I took a virtual workshop called Building a Foundation for Fitness, which was taught by my friend Amy Christensen, the owner of Expand Outdoors. Since I lost weight and ran in the fun run at my daughter’s school, people have continued to ask how I did it. Part of it was the amazing products produced by Isagenix, but the other reason for my success was Amy’s incredible workshop. In fact, I think if it had not been for Amy’s workshop, I would not be 40 pounds lighter or regularly practicing yoga.

Why was Amy’s workshop so helpful? I thought about it and made a list. The list got so long, I had to split it into three parts. (You can read Part 1 here.)  So here’s the second list of things that I learned from Building a Foundation for Fitness:

  1. IDENTIFY HEALTHY FOOD OPTIONS—If you have a problem with junk food, like I did, then figure out options that are faster and healthier than fast food. Instead of grabbing something at MacDonald’s on my way to Katie’s therapy session, I figured out what I could stock in the fridge and pantry for grab and go convenience.
  2. REDUCE OPTIONS—This one truly blew my mind. More options equals more decision making and too much thinking reduces creativity and available time. Wear a workout “uniform” or have the same breakfast every morning to help speed you out the door and free up more time for exercise or any creative endeavor.
  3. FIND YOUR TRIBE—We all need a “tribe” to provide us with support, and healthy living is no different. Make a list to help identify who could support your healthy living efforts. It could be eye opening.
  4. IDENTIFY WHO SHOULDN’T BE IN YOUR TRIBE—Related to #3, figure out who shouldn’t be in your healthy living tribe. I discovered a single friend was seriously sabotaging my efforts to lead a healthier life.
  5. HAVE A BACKUP PLAN—Everyone, but single moms in particular, need a backup plan for days when things go wrong. In my case, I found exercise I could do with my daughter for those days when going to the yoga studio wasn’t in the cards, I made sure to check https://www.posturesavvy.com to find out the right way of doing our posture during this exercise.

Are any of these tips new to you? Which tip did you find most helpful?

Stay tuned for Part 3.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

https://www.posturesavvy.com
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Be An Artist, Right Now!
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Posted on November 11, 2014 by

988669_10152882434160652_1893030052_nWelcome to another Tuesday with TED. Today we have Korean novelist Young-ha Kim. Kim weaves tales that speak  to the thrills and challenges of young Koreans in our increasingly globalized and ever-changing world.

Young-ha Kim wishes that his eighth grade teacher, rather than chiding him for a poorly-executed drawing with a sweeping backstory, had told him, “Well, Young-ha, you may not be good at drawing but you have a talent for storytelling.” Without encouragement, he took the long road toward becoming a writer.

Young-ha Kim published his debut novel, I Have the Right to Destroy Myself, in 1996. It won the esteemed Munhak-dongne prize, and was translated into multiple languages. Kim has since published five novels — including The Empire of Light and Your Republic Is Calling You – plus four collections of short stories.

Kim’s latest book, Black Flower, was sparked by a random conversation on a trans-Pacific flight. It tells the story of 1,033 Korean immigrants who found themselves sold into indentured servitude in Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula in 1905. Publisher’s Weekly wrote of the novel in October of 2012, “Spare and beautiful, Kim’s novel offers a look at the roots of the little-known tribulations of the Korean diaspora in Mexico.”

Until 2008, Kim was a professor in the Drama School at Korean National University of Arts — a post he left in 2008 to focus on writing.

This TED Talk has subtitles, but don’t let that stop you from watching this funny and tremendously inspiring talk which asks the question: why do we stop playing and creating? Kim invokes the world’s greatest artists to urge you to unleash your inner child — the artist who wanted to play forever. Enjoy!

How did your inner artist get shut down? Did you get told that writing wasn’t practical like I did? What do your critical voices say? What might you say to shut those voices down for good? Leave a comment below.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

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Mr. Mike
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Posted on November 6, 2014 by

school-busWhen my daughter Katie switched to yet another school district back in February 2013, she once again was slated to ride the special needs “short bus.” The two school districts, however, didn’t share bus service, so after a month of my driving back and forth twice a day, she began to take a taxi to school. Yes, a taxi. I was hesitant at first, but a taxi ride is quicker and easier on Katie’s often over-taxed sensory system. Plus a taxi has far better air conditioning. So now I actually prefer it to the bus.

When Katie started with the taxi, she had an array of extremely solicitous Middle Eastern drivers who doted on her. They chatted with her, shared their snacks with her, and even on one occasion, bought her balloons! Katie loved it. Then she began having a driver called Mike. He didn’t chat or share his soda. He didn’t get out of the car and hold open the door with a flourish the way the others did. He wasn’t even friendly to either me or Katie, and as a result, he annoyed both of us. Katie didn’t want to get in the taxi when Mike drove, and I suspect he felt the same way. His discomfort was palpable.

Mike began driving Katie to and from school more frequently, and finally Katie lost it on a drive home. The dispatcher called, and I reluctantly gave her my impressions. “It’s a personality conflict,” she said matter-of-factly. “It happens. I’ll switch Katie to a new driver.”

My relief turned to annoyance when Mike showed up the next day and the next. The dispatcher had said she couldn’t guarantee he would never drive Katie, but now he was driving all the time! I waited for things to change, but they never did. Somehow instead of going away, Mike had become Katie’s permanent driver.

After two weeks I was ready to complain, but to my surprise, Katie and Mike worked things out. As Mike became more relaxed and friendly, Katie turned on the charm. Soon the two of them were buddies. Even better, Mike would pass messages to the aide at school at drop off and report back to me on how the school day went. He even started telling me when the aide had trouble getting Katie in the taxi. “She said it was because Katie didn’t want to leave school, but Katie calmed down the minute we left so I think that was B.S.” I’d ask how the ride home went and Mike would say no problem. “I turned on the music and we rocked out together.”

Like Katie, I began to see Mike as a friend and ally.

Puzzle HeartWhen school started this year, both Katie and I were happy to see Mike after a month off. Yet after a few weeks, different drivers replaced Mike more often than not. Katie wasn’t happy, but she tolerated this change. Finally the dispatcher called to tell me that Katie would have a new permanent driver. Abdul is nice, but he and Katie clearly have a few things to work out.

Yesterday, on Katie’s late-start morning, Mike was once again in the driver seat. I smiled as soon as I saw his big grin, and Katie eagerly flung herself into the backseat. Before I could prompt, she said, “Hi, Mr. Mike.”

Mike informed me that he had arranged it so that he could take Katie to school after his regular Wednesday morning route. I thanked him and he said, “No need. I did it because I missed her.”

Katie, who had been bouncing happily on her seat, stopped and said, “I missed her, Mr. Mike.”

Before I could correct her grammar, Mike turned around. “Katie, that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me all week. Give me five!” The two exchanged a series of high fives and happily departed for school.

I was surprised when Mike dropped her off that afternoon. He said he’d drive every Wednesday from now on. “It’s my favorite part of the day, driving Katie.”

It was all I could do to keep from crying as I thanked him. Mr. Mike, yet another person I never would have met if not for autism. Yet another person who now “gets” autism thanks to my charming daughter. Yet another little miracle on the journey that is my unplanned life.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

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The Politics of Fiction
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Posted on November 4, 2014 by

988669_10152882434160652_1893030052_nWelcome to another Tuesday with TED. Today we have novelist Elif Shafak, who is the most-read female author in Turkey. She explicitly defies description. Her writing blends East and West, feminism and tradition, the local and the global, Sufism and rationalism, creating one of today’s most unique voices in literature.

Shafak’s writing is at once rooted in her politically feminist education and her deep respect for and knowledge of Sufism and Ottoman culture, career that she found at https://www.becomeopedia.com/politician/. Using these paradoxes, she creates a third way to understand Turkey’s intricate history. Her international sensibilities have been shaped by a life spent in a diverse range of cities, including Ankara, Cologne, Madrid, Amman, and Boston. She has written novels in Turkish — such as her first work, Pinhan (The Sufi) — as well as English, including her most recent novel, The Forty Rules of Love, in which two powerful parallel narratives take the reader from contemporary Boston to thirteenth-century Konya, where the Sufi poet Rumi encountered his spiritual mentor, the whirling dervish known as Shams.

Her uncommon political stances have not gone without controversy. At the publication of her novel The Bastard of Istanbul, which crosses two family histories, one Turkish, the other Armenian, she faced charges for “insulting Turkishness.” The case was later dismissed, and Shafak’s role as a radical and sentimental writer remains uninterrupted. Shafak also writes song lyrics for well-known rock musicians in her country.

In this fascinating TED Talk, Shafak makes the case that listening to stories widens the imagination; telling them lets us leap over cultural walls, embrace different experiences, and feel what others feel. Shafak builds on this simple idea to argue that fiction can overcome identity politics. In honor of Election Day, please watch this interesting talk.

I just love Elif Shafak’s quote: “Identity politics is made of solid bricks. Fiction is flowing water.” Do you agree with her statement?

What did you think about Shafak’s theory about the power of circles? Do you agree that stories can help us scale cultural walls? What else can stories help us cope with? How do expectations and cultural stereotypes impact your creativity? Leave a comment below.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

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Cynthia’s Yearlong 50th Birthday Bash–October Update
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Posted on October 30, 2014 by

J0341653As I described back in April (you can read the post here), I’m celebrating my 50th birthday with a year of activities, challenges, and FUN designed to honor this milestone. I’m calling it Cynthia’s Yearlong 50th Birthday Bash, and so far it’s been an incredible experience.

Here’s what I did in October to mark this big and badass year:

▪ Launch—The nonprofit I founded, Autism A to Z, launched loads of things this month. The organization is now sponsoring a monthly activity for autism families (and their friends). Last week we took a trip to Brentwood to visit the Smith Family Farm’s wonderful, low-key pumpkin patch and farm stand. In November we are visiting Ardenwood Farm to make corn mosaics and learn about monarch butterflies. We’ve also started a weekday support group as well as a Saturday support group/playdate in the park. There are hikes and sensory friendly movies on our calendar as well as an upcoming advocacy workshop and fundraiser. We’re going to be busy….

▪ Submission—My previous submission to Helen wasn’t accepted, but they asked me to submit again so I sent a different piece for their next issue. I also submitted pieces to Lunch Ticket, which is something I’ve always meant to do but never did, as well as Mason’s Road because they were looking for work dealing with memory. 

▪ New Things—1) Painting! I haven’t painted since grade school, and wow, was it fun to try it again. 2) Ladies Night Out at the Cellar Door Wine Bar in Pleasanton. 3) Thai dumplings—yummy. 4) Green chili soup—even more yummy! I will definitely return to Pescadero just for that soup. Yeah, it was that good.

▪ Challenge—Last month’s challenge of preparing my daughter for 5th grade outdoor education camp went smashingly well. Katie stayed the entire four days and had very little behavior while there. Once again she more than exceeded my expectations. I call that a success! This month’s challenge was to find locations not only for Autism A to Z’s support groups, workshops, and activities, but also a new home for Storied Nights: An Evening of Spoken Word. After more than a year, we had outgrown our initial venue at Peet’s Coffee & Tea in downtown Livermore. There are still plenty of details to work out, but I believe we have found new homes for all of these varying activities. This might not sound like much of a challenge to you, but believe me, it was.

IMG_0099▪ Fun—This month I had a wonderful four-day “staycation” while Katie was at outdoor education camp and took a fantastic intuitive painting workshop with six of my Right Brain Business Plan cohorts: Kiala Givehand, Susan Miller, Beth Barany, Virginia Simpson-Magruder, Donna Rowe, and Monica Garcia. It was so much fun to play with these creative and inspiring women! I also had dates, dates, and more dates with a wonderful new man and took a day trip to Pescadero. Both the town and the state beach were delightful, and I can’t wait to return. Last but not least, we drove to Oakland and saw the incredible Greenwood Avenue Halloween puppet show. Both Katie and I loved it.

I’m six months into my yearlong birthday bash, and I’m having so much FUN! What new things are you trying this month? Leave a comment below.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

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The Mystery Box
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Posted on October 28, 2014 by

988669_10152882434160652_1893030052_nWelcome of another Tuesday with TED. Today we have writer, director, and producer J.J. Abrams.

As the Emmy-winning creator of the smart, addictive TV dramas Lost, Alias, and Felicity, J.J. Abrams’ name looms large on the small screen. As the writer/director behind the blockbuster Mission: Impossible III, Cloverfield, and the most recent Star Trek movie, these days Abrams also rules the big screen — bringing his eye for telling detail and emotional connection to larger-than-life stories.

Abrams’ enthusiasm — for the construction of Kleenex boxes, for the quiet moments between shark attacks in Jaws, for today’s filmmaking technologies, and above all for the potent mystery of an unopened package — is incredibly infectious. Don’t miss this funny and fast-moving talk.

Did this talk change how you viewed story? Did it change how you viewed a simple box? How might you use the concept of a mystery box in your creative endeavors? Leave a comment below.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton

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