Welcome to Summer School, Part 2
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school-busVictoria never did call back. Nor did anyone from the Pleasanton School District, although a district staff person recognized Katie and brought her to her classroom. “Immediately,” the teacher would emphasize later. “They brought her to me immediately.”

Yeah, but how long did Katie wander before she was found? The thought terrifies me, but at the same time, I know it may not be the last time that Katie is lost and needs directions. Did she seek out help?

That afternoon Katie seemed withdrawn and possibly even scared, but that could be my projection. She repeated over and over, “Help. Help please.” Whether she said that when lost or was practicing in the event it happened again, I will probably never know. But I do know that she remained on campus, apparently searching for her classroom in the unfamiliar school. I’m proud of her for that.

Another mom would later report that she saw district staff arguing with aides from Katie’s classroom. The staff person insisted that I must have dropped Katie off without waiting for her aide. “No,” the aides said. “Cynthia wouldn’t have done that.”

No parent of a barely verbal autistic child would have done that and yet two schools districts both assumed that’s exactly what happened. This tendency to blame the parent (or worse, the child) bothers me. Neither Katie nor I had anything to do with the “incident.” Plenty of other people may be at fault, but Katie and I did nothing wrong.

When they could no longer blame me, the districts instead blamed the bus driver. But when I drove Katie to school the following day, her 1:1 aide was no where to be found. After a five-minute wait, the teacher showed up, claiming the aide was waiting at the back of the school at the bus drop off zone. Which begs the question: so how come the aide wasn’t there the day before?

No one in either district is taking responsibility for the “incident.” The next day Katie was switched to a taxi, along with the other children who rode that particular bus. I hope the driver wasn’t fired, but I suspect he was. Which isn’t really fair, because in all the chaos, how was he to know who was or wasn’t Katie’s aide? And it wouldn’t have been an issue if the aide was present.

BalanceWhy wasn’t the aide waiting?

After mulling it over, the bottom line is this: mistakes happen. People screw up. I cannot protect Katie from this, as much as I might like to. But I’m happy to know that once she stepped off the bus and realized she was alone, Katie kept her cool, She didn’t bolt and she didn’t panic. Instead she found an adult she knew and asked for help using the few words she had. I need to trust that she will do that again, because a next time will undoubtedly come.

It’s a balancing act, this dance of holding on and letting go.

A part of me wishes the “incident” had never happened, but Katie learned from this experience. I did too.

Until next time,
Cynthia

About Cynthia J. Patton

Writer, Editor, Advocate, Speaker, Special Needs Attorney, and Autism Mom. Also the Founder and Chairperson of Autism A to Z, a nonprofit providing resources and solutions for life on the spectrum.
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