I have been a very bad blogger.

I didn’t intend to take the summer off (plus a good part of the fall as well), but in the end, that’s exactly what I did. Katie and I were busy enjoying the Alameda County Fair, the Oakland Zoo, Discovery Kingdom (aka Marine World), and the beach—activities most people take for granted. I, however, no longer take these things for granted because for many years we couldn’t do them. Or at least couldn’t do them without an excess of chaos that was emotionally draining for both of us. But now Katie enjoys these excursions. Not quite effortlessly, but pretty darn close.

All those trips to the grocery store and restaurants that felt like punishment, all the nasty comments from strangers, all the public meltdowns while people stared—all of it is fading to a distant memory. For the first time, I took Katie to the farmer’s market and viewed it as fun rather than homework. And oh how sweet it tastes.

So I’m sure you will forgive me if in my excitement over Katie’s tremendous progress in what the therapists call “community outings,” I more or less forgot to blog. I wasn’t a total slacker. I did three guest posts and updated and expanded my author website (go check it out if you haven’t; I’ve got a bookstore!). I was also working out the details of my business plan (more on this soon). It’s also possible I was trying to ignore the little voice in my head that questioned if I had made a mistake in allowing Katie to be transferred back to our school district. Sadly I have become somewhat notorious due to our epic battles, and Katie had a great three years with her adopted district. But I was convinced her new placement was a good move for her—despite what I knew would be a rough transition. My mother was convinced it was a terrible idea.

Unfortunately Mom was right.

Since August, I have been embroiled in escalating IEP madness, the kind of drama that only happens in a school district with a horrible special education department. Everything blew up on October 1st. My child is now at the eye of the hurricane I helped create, and I’m kicking myself that I ever thought this would work.

Mom, to her credit, has not said I told you so.

But she’s understandably angry and frustrated. As am I. This time around, even Katie is upset.

A little background for those of you who don’t already know the story: Three years ago the Special Education Director in our district made the decision to add a fourth grade level (K through 3^rd) to the autism program that Katie was transferring into. This increased the number of children in the class from 8 (the typical maximum for a special day class) to 13. At the same time he cut the number of classroom aides from 4 to 2. So the class went from the traditional 2:1 staffing ratio to something more like 6:1. Chaos ensued. When parents threatened legal action, the Director tried to bully me into placing Katie into a Down’s syndrome program for kindergarteners in another district. (Katie was one of only two kindergarteners in the class that year.) When I wouldn’t agree to what I viewed as a totally inappropriate placement, the District suspended my child EIGHT times in a row for minor and very typical autism behavior. Totally illegal, but hey, who cares about federal law? I’m sure they thought because I’m a single mom I’d be an easy target. But things didn’t work out quite like they planned.

After I said no for nearly 3 months, the bully and his boss had a totally humiliating meeting with their counterparts in Pleasanton who agreed with me about the inappropriateness of the Down’s syndrome program. Two days later Katie was transferred into an excellent autism program in Dublin, compliments of the Pleasanton Special Education Director. Life was good for 3 years—except for the nasty morning commute.

Now we are back in the school district that thinks autism and Down’s syndrome are interchangeable disabilities, and to paraphrase a writer I know who lives in Santa Fe, Mommy needs a drink. A really strong drink.

To be continued…

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton