Sometimes You Just Have to Surrender

checkmate-1511866_1920I have always been strong-willed and stubborn. A fighter. Not with my fists, but with my intellect and my words. With my heart and soul. With my passion and conviction. With a strategic plan.

But sometimes, no matter how much or how well you fight, you just have to surrender.

My daughter and I caught a nasty bug shortly after Christmas. We had high fevers and could barely get out of bed. I can’t remember ever being that sick. It took at least two weeks to become more or less healthy and regain our energy and appetite. But in retrospect, we were never fully well.

Shortly after her birthday, Katie got sick again. It was a head cold this time, and while she didn’t seem as sick as the first time, the cold lingered. It lingered until I got sick as well, and then when I couldn’t shake it, I developed an ear infection. Yes, I developed an ear infection. For me at least, ear infections have not been limited to childhood. I visited the doctor and got a prescription for antibiotics. My ear stopped throbbing with pain, but it remained plugged and my body ached. My nose ran. My sinuses felt raw. I was, in short, miserable.

As I tend to do, I fought my illness. I tried to conquer it with vitamin C and cough syrup, ibuprofen and Vicks vapor rub. Nothing helped. I was still sick.

Nate, my ex-boyfriend/friend, was diagnosed with walking pneumonia and Katie came down with a stomach flu. They began improving. I was still sick.


Finally it dawned on me that if I wanted to get well, I needed to surrender. I needed to accept that I was ill and that pushing myself wasn’t working. I’ve said it before but it continues to ring true. Acceptance is a bitch.

I hate being sick, but that doesn’t matter. I’d been sick for what felt like forever, but again, that didn’t matter. Acceptance is key.

So I surrendered to the reality of my situation. I did less and slept more. Guess what? I am finally starting to feel better. Not well, but better.

It might be the new nasal spray, but I’m pretty sure acceptance is the reason I’m finally on the path to recovery.

What have you resisted lately? Did you fight or surrender?

Until next time,

About Cynthia J. Patton

Writer, Editor, Advocate, Speaker, Special Needs Attorney, and Autism Mom. Also the Founder and Chairperson of Autism A to Z, a nonprofit providing resources and solutions for life on the spectrum.
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