I went to law school with a woman named Pearl. I didn’t know her well, even though she may have been in my small section. I honestly can’t remember. I didn’t pay much attention to Pearl because she was “old.” At 22, what seemed old was probably younger than I am now.

Although I didn’t pay much attention to her, Pearl was nevertheless memorable—and it wasn’t due to her “advanced” age. She was memorable because of her look, which was so out-of-step with the time. In the late 1980s, when hot rollers and big Dallas-style hair were all the rage, Pearl wore her graying hair in a vintage Marlo Thomas flip. I imagined her back-combing the crown like my mom did when I was a child and then shellacking it into place with a can of Aqua Net. It was hair that would not be out of place on “Mad Men.”

Pearl’s clothes were equally dated, and the combined effect rendered her virtually invisible, an obsolete model. She was totally forgettable—or so I thought.

In the twenty-plus years since law school, I have never forgotten Pearl. It seems she left an indelible imprint on my mind. At our 20^th reunion, I learned that Pearl had died only a few years after graduation. I was stunned and saddened at the news. How could Pearl be gone?

I can’t help but wonder if she regretted the time spent in law school. Would she have gone if she had known? More importantly, did she enjoy practicing law? Did it change her as it changed me? What was it like for her, my brain mutters, what was it like?

There is so much I would ask Pearl today. It bothers me a little, this obvious change of heart. Do I want to ask these questions because she is gone or because I’m older and no longer discount people due to age?

Whenever I think of Pearl I can’t help but also think of my girlfriend Faye, who is an ovarian cancer survivor. After she attended the ninth (and last) funeral of the women in her cancer support group, Faye said to me, “Life is short. It’s too fucking short to waste time.”

It is. Life is short. Just ask Pearl, or Faye, or those nine dead women.

I was reminded of this fact once again when I saw an article my friend Jennifer Simpson shared: 30 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Die. Jenn suggested using them as writing prompts or questions to ask when fleshing out fictional characters. I think they would work great for that, but I also think they are important questions to ask yourself—whether you are approaching 30, 40, 50, or even 60 and beyond.

Ask yourself the questions and then go out and live. Even if it’s something “crazy” like studying drama, writing a book, attending law school in your 40s, or starting your own law firm a few months shy of your 50^th birthday. Do something you’ve always wanted to do and tell yourself it’s for Pearl.

Go on, I double dare you.

Until next time,
Cynthia Patton