Comments on: Sometimes Shit Just Happens

By: Cynthia Patton

Cynthia Patton — Thu, 08 Aug 2013 08:23:07 +0000

Beautifully put, Berta.

By: Berta

Berta — Tue, 06 Aug 2013 20:41:48 +0000

Beautifully written and I whole heartedly agree. We cannot build fortresses nor should we. If we were successful at that, the kids would spend their adult years in therapy. Because we never let them fall, they didn’t know they could get up. Shit happens, it always happens. Sometimes things can’t get any better, but they can always, always get worse. It’s this shit that makes us hold one another tight, knowing that no matter how much we love one another, there is no real protection of shit when it happens.

By: Cynthia Patton

Cynthia Patton — Sat, 03 Aug 2013 06:55:13 +0000

Hi Dee! Some people should just mind their own business and keep their mouths shut. People often assume they know what’s going on, when really they have no idea. I’m sorry that people have caused you pain. Apparently they do not understand that none of us can control most people, places, or things. If your nineteen-year-old wanted to leave, you couldn’t really stop her.

Yes, wouldn’t it be lovely if we stopped attacking one another and worked together instead?

By: Dee

Dee — Fri, 02 Aug 2013 12:45:06 +0000

I totally agree with you. No parent can make home a fortress and it’s unfair to expect that. I don’t have an autistic child but I have an adopted daughter with severe PTSD and other diagnoses. When she was 19 she just decided she could do whatever she wanted, and she disappeared. I hear from her occasionally now, the odd text message here and there, but I can’t convince her to come home, even for a visit.

I have endured some criticism that hurt very much, from parents of kids with no diagnoses, and it’s painful.

There are so many things out of one’s control when you are parenting a child whose brain simply doesn’t work normally. It’s more difficult if you are a single parent, too. Instead of being critical, we should work together and be supportive.

By: Cynthia Patton

Cynthia Patton — Fri, 02 Aug 2013 08:13:42 +0000

Yes, exactly! We want everything to be black and white, when in reality most of life falls in the gray area. We think if we plan carefully life will be neat and tidy, with no messy parts. But the truth is life is inherently messy.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 01 Aug 2013 16:05:33 +0000

I was just having this discussion with a friend the other day– about how as a culture we are uncomfortable with ambiguity, with there not being a right answer, with messy endings, with the fact that sometimes shit happens….