Comments on: One Thing I Hear Constantly

By: cjpatton

cjpatton — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 15:30:39 +0000

Thanks!

By: cjpatton

cjpatton — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 00:28:35 +0000

I’m glad Easter Seals helped you. I will have to check them out!

By: cjpatton

cjpatton — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 00:27:06 +0000

I’m glad that your mother has been able to help out. I think it is difficult for family members of either gender (male or female) to know what to do to help someone grappling with autism. Even doctors don’t know! So why does it surprise us that our family members seem at a loss? It’s a sad situation for all of us.

By: cjpatton

cjpatton — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 00:20:18 +0000

Eric,
I know a guy who is a single parent to an autistic child. His son’s mother took off much as my husband did. He gets some help from his extended family, but not much. I don’t get much help from my family either. And I have heard this again and again from other parents of autistic children. So you are not alone.

I suspect women are simply more realistic about what it would take to parent an autistic child. The men I have met, not so much. And yeah, I’ve spent a lot of holidays alone since my daughter was diagnosed. I know exactly how that feels. Hang in there!

By: Eric Behrenfeld

Eric Behrenfeld — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 03:35:29 +0000

You know who helped me the most? Easter Seals! And yes, it was all women helping me, but they WORKED there. The staff at Easter Seals saved me and went out of their way to help me. Only public service people have helped me and my son, and the government, ESPECIALLY REPUBLICANS want to cut the funding to these organizations and disability programs.

By: Eric Behrenfeld

Eric Behrenfeld — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 03:31:22 +0000

I do want to add, that my mother has helped me recently the last few years, she is the only one. My father has only invited me to his home once, and my brother wants nothing to do with me. I have repeatedly heard from uncles, aunts, cousins, friends (especially women!) we want to come by and see your son. What do they do? Drop off a gift, take a picture and head out the door usually within 2 hours. Let me tell you, women have completely abandoned my son, a motherless son, so if you think it’s tough having a man in your life, go ask your “sisters” how many of THEM would date a guy who has a kid with Autism? The answer is ZERO! Women talk a big game, but they don’t do anything with a man in need. At least men are up front about it, AND the couple times I had a FWB situation, I was providing for those women, and I have the kid with Autism! And, good luck with getting help from the Catholic Church, Republicans, or any one else that touts the bible. The Bible thumpers are the last people to count on when you have a child with Autism.

By: Eric Behrenfeld

Eric Behrenfeld — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 03:14:16 +0000

I have yet to meet or find a man like me, a lone widower, that cares for a child with Autism totally alone. I have no one to leave him with, I get no help from friends or family. I have not ever met a woman that wants to date me (besides a FWB thing) or have a relationship with me. I HEAR YOU! Everything you say is true, and when you are a man like me, it’s more worse than you could EVER imagine because a women can get a man by offering sex, but a man in my situation does not have that option. There are just way too many available men that don’t have kids with Autism. Women say they want a man like me that is a committed parent, a true father who would not abandon his child, but sorry to say, that is a lie! When I go to single parent functions women avoid me once they know I have a child with autism. I have never been set up on a blind date or introduced to anyone from friends or family. I am never invited to social parties from friends I know anymore, and I have spent every single one of my birthdays alone since my wife died in 2005. I have not one male person in my life that I could call my friend. At least women stick together, men bail on you and completely ignore your situation’s special needs, especially if you are a male. Men don’t support men, unless maybe they are homesexual!