Comments on: Thoughts on “Quiet Hands”

By: cjpatton

cjpatton — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:09:19 +0000

Hi Savannah! Nice to meet you. Both my daughter and my dog have stuck their heads under women’s dresses. As far as I know, I did not. My mother would have been horribly scandalized. : )

Excellent suggestions. While my daughter did have a few tactile issues when young, for the most part she will touch any wipe or gel if she’s in control. (Just don’t try and make her do it.) But she’s very mouthy in addition to touching everything and this would help to decrease my anxiety when she touches those car tires! Wow, why didn’t I think of that? And I LOVE suggestion #2, because really, touching is a two-way street. She doesn’t like people touching her without permission, and I think this might be an excellent way to explain to her why she needs to ask first with others, even when talking is difficult. Love the self-advocacy part as well. Yay touching!

Looking forward to checking out your blog as well. Thanks for stopping by!

By: Savannah Logsdon-Breakstone

Savannah Logsdon-Breakstone — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:36:36 +0000

I have always been a toucher. (I also, apparently, also tried to hide under people’s dresses even if I wasn’t sure I knew them, but I don’t remember this.) It totally does help make sense of the world.

Two things from my experiences as a toucher:

1) yay touching! May be a good idea to get a bunch of different types of hand wipes or sanitizing gel and have a mother-daughter time with your daughter figuring out which one she likes/tolerates the best. This is so that she can wipe her hands clean with something *she* is okay with if she touches something super dirty like building walls and fences, or (eventually) before she touches the veggies at the market. Not 100% needed, of course, but it can help keep someone healthy. Especially if your daughter ever sticks her fingers in her mouth like I do without thinking about it.

2) Yay, touching! But it’s a good idea to talk about/teach about age appropriate consent issues like not touching people without their permission, and how other people shouldn’t touch her without her permission. I’m a big believer in this as being a foundation for self-advocacy that is age appropriate, and it sounds like you’ve already started doing this by modeling when you tell the people working with her not to do hand-over-hand! That is exactly the sort of learning opportunity I’m talking about.

By: cjpatton

cjpatton — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 20:17:40 +0000

No, we are defiitely not as smart as we think we are and there is clearly a great deal we still need to learn about autism.

I’m glad you found me. I can’t wait to check out your blog.

By: aefountain

aefountain — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:51:55 +0000

Like you, I read the same post and walked away with a wake-up call. I am starting to question our ‘normal’ society. I don’t think we are as smart as we once thought we were.

By: cjpatton

cjpatton — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 12:05:11 +0000

Exactly, Karen. Even though I hate to compare my child to a dog. : )

By: Karen Hogan

Karen Hogan — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 17:28:00 +0000

Great story. I wonder also if maybe her need to touch is akin to a dog’s need to smell to gather information about the world. (Okay, maybe it wouldn’t be a good idea for Katie to go around touching people’s butts.)

There is much we have to learn about being human from those on the autism spectrum.

By: cjpatton

cjpatton — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:37:50 +0000

Thanks. Please do. I think the line in Quiet Hands that struck me the most was this: When it’s autism it’s not abuse. It’s therapy.

I can’t tell you as a parent how that made me feel. It’s such a fine line when working with non-verbal kids to know when our well-meaning actions become less helpful rather than more.

By: Lora king

Lora king — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 11:43:55 +0000

Another beautiful insight Cynthia! I will be sharing this with Special Ed teachers I work with!